Silly Stuff

We all fall guilty of having silly stuff and design trends in our homes. Calling them design is a stretch. Often they are impulse buys that make us laugh, smile, or have a meaning in our life for a moment. I have to tell you these stenciled windows drive me NUTS! HATE stenciled decorative SHIT!  Many times they are gifts from well meaning friends and family.  They become popular and the public is herded by retailers. I too fall guilty. It's important to learn how to use and edit them. 

A lot of this is perky Pollyanna bullshit. This Polly ain't so Pollyanna, she just wants to get drunk.

These are funny for a one-night affair.  Then what the fuck do you do with them?   A good one-night affair needs no souvenir to be remembered.

There are just no words for this stupid piece of shit. Just say it.

At their best, they are really greeting cards. Use as such. Editing this genre from your home would completely delete your sense of humor and daily flair. So lets discuss how we can have our cake and eat it too. I like cake! 

Have a space just for this kind of shit. In a more private area, create a small wall, maybe cover in cork so can move stuff around. If you're lucky enough to have the space, a closet is perfect, a 3D scrapbook.  Open the door, smile, laugh, remember why you purchased, who gifted you this crap.

Items like these can be brought out for party decorations or special effect at the right time. Please folks, these are not for permanent display. NOT OVER THE FIREPLACE !!!!!!!

Trust me I buy all kinds of this shit. People give me stuff all the time. I LOVE IT!

Two photos of my personal silly and nostalgic stuff, displayed where I can see everyday. The cavalier was given to me by a sweet friend, it's in my bathroom cabinet. I see it everyday and remember my sweet Milton and friend. The carnival plaster twirler girl also a gift from a friend, in the know. I always wanted to be a twirler girl (really, really bad). The toy clock I learned to tell time on. This stuff makes a house a home. We can find a place for these items. A place for everything and everything in its place.

Barbra Streisand
"Memories"

Cool SHIT!

I love finding merchandise for my shop. Always on the go, in search of items that intrigue, spark the imagination. It ain't easy, folks.  Lots of miles put on the truck in pursuit of loot.  Curating a collection is a complex art, you have to consider style, pricing, value, and then you have to ask yourself, "is it worth fucking with?" Moving, cleaning, restoration, how heavy is the mother?  On top of it all, I have to satisfy my own tastes and appease my own moods.

When I first considered these for purchase, to when I got them in the truck, they seemed to grow.  By the time I got them in the store to hang, they GREW again!  Perfect example of "is it worth fucking with?" These are huge! They are hung. Worth fucking with!

1923 Marconi is full of STUFF.  Packed. You just never know what will be there. A lot of my personality goes into my selections. My mood changes from day to day. OK, from minute to minute. So the selection is pretty wild. 

Above is a photo taken on one of those days when I was trying to make sense of it all. Imposing law and order. Retail displays can be mind blowing.  Making it read "take me home." Merchandising the shop is different from styling a home.

Mixing different styles, shapes, pedigrees, eras in the shop keeps it real. Draws a more diverse collection of customers.  Jux ta position of objects creates great interest, keeps the eye moving and the mind thinking.  Customers meander, move about, keeps them excited. Discovery!

Designing a home for a collector is an exciting endeavor.  The enthusiasm between myself and the client can be explosive. Placing the perfect object in the perfect place!  Creating law and order. Many different kinds of collections can be curated, each has its own set of considerations.  As we become friends, this will give us lots to talk about.

It's great joy when working with a client who has a roving eye. Creating compositions for living is a blast, working with all kinds of objects, making them interact with each other for visual and practical needs. Color, shape, size, girth. There has to be an interrelationship between objects. Putting a room together is like a giant puzzle. The box has a grid that is unseen, aligning objects correctly is choreography. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE DANCE.

Madonna
"Vogue"

Faux French/Foe Americans

Faux (adj.): artificial or imitation; fake.
Foe (noun): an enemy or opponent.

Why the French have problems with Americans!

This is embarrassing SHIT! Stop it folks before they send troops!

Diplomacy!

French daydreaming.  Let's make them proud of us.  Show them we have style. French wishlist.  Budget-busting.

A very fine 19th Century French Empire mahogany gilt bronze mounted day bed. Styled with outswept sides, using bronze swan molded figures and legs with winged lion bronze clasps and paw feet.

Suzanne Sugarbaker (Delta Burke) from the 80's sitcom Designing Women said she had a deprived life because she didn't have a complete set of Louis Vuitton luggage.  I'm extremely deprived, not a single piece.  Below, a fabulous antique collection.

"In the 1830s, a provincial young Frenchman named Louis Vuitton traveled — on foot — from his hometown to Paris, more than 400 km away. One of the odd jobs he struck up in Paris was as an apprentice layetier, a kind of manservant who would pack trunks for well-to-do travelers. Vuitton must have really known how to pack a trunk, because he soon caught the attention of Napoleon III, who hired him to be layetier to his wife, Empress Eugénie.

His tenure and skill in this field gave Vuitton considerable expertise in travelers’ needs. In 1854 he opened his own trunk-making firm in Paris. His first trunks were lightweight and airtight, with flat tops to facilitate stacking. They were wooden frames covered in gray “Trianon” canvas.

Louis Vuitton trunks were soon very popular and, like today, oft-copied. The company had to keep changing its signature pattern due to copycats. The trademark brown and beige stripes debuted in 1876; twenty years later, the “Monogram” pattern was unveiled, with that familiar “LV” monogram plus four-lobed flowers ‘borrowed’ from the Japanese visual culture that was so fashionable in the late-19th century.

By 1913, the Louis Vuitton store on the Champs-Elysées in Paris was the largest travel-goods store in the world."

Bring a little French style into your home.  Budget-friendly.  

From the VIP collection.  Decorative pillows made from French grain sacks, feather and down inserts.  Several sizes and stripe patterns to choose from.

Circa 1900 French bentwood bistro table with marble top.  Great for dining or sipping wine.

Arriving in store by Thursday.  Folding French bistro chairs, perfect for al fresco dining.

Available in box stores in a wide range of colors, French metal cafe chairs.  Do your homework, price and quality can vary greatly.

Summing it all up, the one thing French we all appreciate is the kiss.

Edith Piaf
"La Vie en Rose"

Shady Characters

How's that for a title? Look at these dudes! No clue what they did, don't want to know, would probably piss me off. Pretty shady looking group of folks! Good start, although they have nothing to do with this rant, but for the words, Shady Characters.

Now down to business!

I'm going to RANT in high gear about ridiculous, tacky lamps shades. The next four paragraphs will refer to all four photographs featured.

What the fuck was the person who designed and made these thinking?

Who the fuck is going to buy them?

Where the fuck is the buyer going to put them?

What the fuck does the rest of the house look like?

 ILLITERATE LIBRARY SHADE

OMG!
OMG!
OMG!

Where do I start? So much disgust! Lets begin with the obvious cheap ass black bullion fringe. Let's move down to the most unneeded gimp. Next. The fabric is pieced together cheap ass upholstery tapestry. Then the bottom NEEDED another row of cheap ass black fringe. Gentleman featured looks a bit shady to me.

What is this for? I know! Got it! A library with a life time collection of Reader's Digest Condensed Books. I pray they have red faux leather bindings.

PISSED OFF PEACOCK

No they didn't!
No they didn't!
No they didn't!

Peacock feathers are beautiful on a peacock. PERIOD. Not in a vase. Not on a dress. Most certainly not on a lamp shade. Maybe a feather duster.  What a great prop for the movie "The Birdcage."

This shade would cause me to have a breakdown if I saw it in a client's house. I would be speechless! Anyone who knows me at all knows that's a big deal. ME SPEECHLESS. This belongs  in the trash!

WHORE  DECOR

Well.
Well.
Well.

Just didn't now what to do with the Frederick's of Hollywood too-small lingerie, you know she outgrew it, cause she was all up in the bed eating bonbons. I'VE GOT IT! Make a lamp shade. You know, if only brought out for special evenings, it could be a keeper. You take that statement anywhere you want to.

BUR-LAPS OF JUDGEMENT

MY!
MY!
MY!

I'm writing a letter directly to President Obama. Legislation must be passed ASAP outlawing burlap's use in the home furnishings industry!!!! We need visual protection! Time should be served in the big house for this.

Bruno Mars shit don't stink!
"Uptown Funk"