Monday, September 28, 2015

Fairies



 

Fairy (from Merriam-Webster):
1: a mythical being of folklore and romance usually having diminutive human form and magic powers
2: (usually disparaging)  a male homosexual.

Fairies we're all familiar with: 

Tinker Bell: described by J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, as sometimes ill-tempered, spoiled, jealous, and vindictive (maybe this is why gay men are sometimes referred to as fairies, I sometimes resemble this description), at other times she is inquisitive, helpful and kind. The extremes in her personality are explained in the story by the fact that a fairy's size prevents her from holding more than one feeling at a time, so when she is angry she has no counterbalancing compassion.

Tooth Fairy: a fantasy figure of early childhood.  Folklore states that when children lose one of their baby teeth, they should place it underneath their pillow and the tooth fairy will visit while they sleep, replacing the lost tooth with a small payment.  The tradition of leaving a tooth under a pillow for the tooth fairy to collect is practiced in various countries.

Fairy Godmothers: these appear frequently in fairytale fantasy, especially Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.  Typically, the fairy godmother's protégé is a prince or princess and the hero of the story, and the godparent uses her magic to help or otherwise support them.  Fairy Godmothers just made good shit happen. We all wish for one.






During the Victorian and Edwardian periods, people were obsessed with fairies. They frequently appeared in art, music, and literature—for children and adults—as well as in the decorative arts.  The Celtic Revival viewed them as part of Ireland's cultural heritage. Some have suggested that the fascination of English antiquarians with fairies arose from a reaction to greater industrialization, and loss of folkways.  Above are some great examples of Edwardian fairy photography.

More than once in my career, I've had a client ask for something that was virtually impossible, and my reply has been, "I might be a fairy, but my wand is broken."

Now we're gonna talk about a not so well known fairy: The Turn-to-Shit Fairy.  Bitch been followin' me for two weeks, even whispering in my ears, "turn to shit."  I'm tellin' you, people, everything's been goin' wrong.

Bedding not ready at the laundry in time for photo shoot.

Truck door won't open, I force it, the whole interior side pulls off.

Custom lamp shades arrive damaged.

Glass hurricane of antique altar candle breaks.

I fall off roof of truck while stealing magnolia seed pods (maybe that's karma).

Large piece of art falls off wall, ripping hole in new drywall, breaking glass.  What a mess.

Broke three coffee cups in five days.

Printing job wrong three times.  Went to another printer.

My upholsterer, that I've used for years, went out of business.

I could go on.

Nothin' going my way.  I'm being a pouty little baby.  Ready to throw myself on the floor and have a hissy fit.  I know this is all trivial shit, but enough is enough.

 
When I catch the BITCH, I'm gonna take this...

  
...and shove it up this.

Used picture of jackass 'cause I've been acting like one. 



Lee Hazlewood, "Friday's Child"

1 comment:

Valkoor Nightsinger said...

What a two week ride! Self-immolation would be enjoyable in contrast. I enjoy all your posts, your commentary and wit propel me through my day, ....... to wit, "whore decor" I laughed so fucking hard I ran every red light home in your honor sir. Must get to your shop soon. Better days.

Valkoor Nightsinger.